Pages 210-219

“You wouldn’t hurt her intentionally, of course, but what happens if you slip up? I just think it would be best if you… if you remained at arms’ length so to speak,” Corran warned.
“I will do nothing to encourage anything more, but if she does I won’t reject her,” Tristan replied, “That would do more harm than good.”
Corran sighed. “I agree.”
“I can hear everything you’re saying, you know,” I said as my eyes shot open and I sat up.
“I thought you were asleep,” Tristan said as he sat up straighter.
“I was; but it’s a little difficult when your pillow starts having a conversation,” I replied pointedly.
“Sorry,” Tristan said sheepishly.
“It’s alright, but I heard something about being inactive on Naboo. I’m not pleased about that. I need to get back to my ship and attack Myrkr while it’s still weak,” I protested.
“By ‘your ship’ you mean the Oblivion, right?” Corran asked.
“Of course.”
“Your title was renounced two weeks after you went missing,” he said reluctantly.
“You’re kidding, right?” I said shakily.
“I’m afraid not.”
“No, no, no, no, no! This isn’t fair! I earned that title!” I yelled in frustration.
“Tori calm down,” Tristan said softly.
I took a deep breath. “You’re right. Life goes on. I’ll just enter back in as a recruit when we get back to Coruscant.”
“We’re going to Naboo, not Coruscant, remember?” Corran asked.
“I remember the Jedi being assigned to Naboo, but I’m not technically a Jedi anymore so I’m going to Coruscant,” I countered.
“You can’t be serious. You just escaped yesterday; are you that eager to go back?” Corran asked incredulously.
“It won’t happen again, you can be sure of that.”
“It won’t happen again because we won’t let you go back,” Tristan cut in.
I decided to completely disregard that comment. “I don’t suppose either of you have a blaster handy, do you?”
“Nope,” Tristan replied.
“Not today,” Corran answered.
“Then I’ll just go hunt one down,” I said as I started to stand and walk away.
“What are you going to do with it?” Corran demanded as he caught me by the elbow.
“Target practice; I don’t want to look stupid in front of the people who used to work for me.” And with that, I pulled my arm away and went to search for the ship’s emergency equipment; there was always a blaster with the emergency equipment.
“Okay, if you can’t talk sense into her and I can’t talk sense into her, who can talk sense into her?” Tristan asked as he watched me disappear down the hallway.
* * *
With my search for a blaster a success I headed to the hangar to use mousedroids as targets. I was a little rusty but I regained most of my former skill relatively quickly.
“You know, you shouldn’t sneak up on people who are using weapons,” I said when I heard someone walking up behind me.
“I’ll try to remember that next time I run into someone who’s not a Jedi,” Orunti said with a chuckle.
I turned toward him. “I’m not a Jedi anymore.”
“Maybe not technically, but you’ll always be one to us,” he said as he used telekinesis to pull the blaster out of my hand.
“No fair, you know I’m telekinesis retarded,” I protested as I went to retrieve my blaster.
“That isn’t my fault,” Orunti said as he floated the blaster above me, just out of reach.
“I can be mean too, you know,” I said as I took a step back and took a deep breath.
Orunti suddenly doubled over in pain and the blaster clattered to the floor where I quickly retrieved it.
“What the krif was that?” Orunti asked in alarm.
“Oh about an eighth of the pain I went through every day I was with the Vong,” I replied casually. “And that isn’t counting all of the pain I absorbed from Skai. I could do a hell of a lot more damage than what you just went through. I stored all of that pain my memory to project at will.”
“But why did you use it on me?” Orunti asked in shock.
“Because you wouldn’t give me my blaster back,” I answered bluntly.
“You’re unstable.”
“You’re a wimp.”
“You shouldn’t have that blaster. It’s unsafe for you to be in possession of any weapon.”
“Fine,” I shouted as I tossed the blaster to his feet, “I don’t need a weapon; I’ve got something none of you can take from me.” He looked at me oddly. “The force and my memories.” I walked toward the hangar door; I could both hear and feel Orunti coming after me. “For your own good, don’t take another step.” He kept coming. “I warned you,” I said as I continued to walk. Orunti screamed in pain and fell to his knees, but his screams faded as the door shut behind me and once I was a good distance away I released the pain I had inflicted on him and made myself disappear within the force. I just had to find a place where no one would come looking for me.
* * *
Corran’s comlink buzzed. “Orunti? Orunti, what’s wrong? What happened?” Corran was instantly panicked when he heard Orunti’s stressed and ragged breathing.
“I’m fine now but Tori’s not,” Orunti replied in between strangled breaths.
“What happened? What’s wrong with her?” Corran asked in alarm.
“I don’t know; I was hoping you’d tell me,” Orunti answered.
“What do you mean? Orunti, what happened?” Corran asked with a little more calm.
“She attacked me.”
“No. How?”
“Pain projection,” Orunti said bluntly. “She’s not stable, Corran. We need to find her before she hurts herself or anyone else.”
“I agree; I’ll see if I can find her first before alerting everyone,” Corran said with a sigh.
* * *
No one would look for me in a droid storage room. I was safe from them. Only one thing bothered me; I didn’t feel guilty and I didn’t regret what I’d done. So oddly enough the lack of guilt made me feel guilty. I should have been extremely ashamed of myself but I wasn’t.
I knew I couldn’t hide within the force forever so I had to come up with a plan. Within moments I knew what I had to do; all it would take was a little luck and a lot of guts.
* * *
“Whoa, Corran, where are you going in such a hurry?” Tristan asked as Corran flew past him.
“To find Tori,” Corran answered as he continued his stride; suddenly Tristan was in front of him.
“What happened?”
“She attacked Orunti then disappeared in the force.”
“Shit, she’ll hide for awhile but she wants to get to Coruscant so at some point she’ll have to get to the hangar,” Tristan said as he fell in step next to Corran.
“So first we need to have people at the hangar,” Corran said with a nod as he took out his comlink. “Jaina… Are you still on the bridge?... Good, I need you to do me a favor. Send a message to all comlinks telling them to get to the hangar as fast as possible and stay there until I say otherwise… I’ll explain later… Thank you, Jaina.”
* * *
Corran and Tristan were on their way to the hangar when they felt my presence reappear in the force. They sprinted toward it and sure enough it was coming from the hangar bay.
* * *
When I snuck back into the hangar bay I noticed that everyone was there, not just the Jedi, but everyone, even the crew. It was easily one hundred and fifty people. I figured I’d blend better if I just walked into the crowd like a few others were doing.
“Tori.” I froze when I heard my name. “We know why you’re here and you’re not leaving this ship,” Kyp said and there were nods and murmurs of agreement.
“You can’t stop me,” I said as I sent a shock of pain through him.
“You forget how many of us there are,” Kyp said as he regained his composure and gestured at the crowd of people, “We will stop you.”
“You will try,” I said as I sent a ripple of pain through the crowd causing them all to flinch and some to cry out in pain. I continued this as I made my way through the crowd toward an XJ7. My progress suddenly halted and I found that I couldn’t move at all. I looked around trying to find the source of my sudden halt when an image entered my head; I tried to ignore it, but couldn’t.
At first I couldn’t tell who I was looking at because their back was turned. After a moment I processed the fact that the person was female and human. She was unfamiliar and yet I got the feeling I had seen her somewhere. Her arm extended and a yellow beam emitted from the lightsaber in her hand. She wore a black flightsuit, not unlike the ones G.A.G. members wore in the book that was based ten years from now. Then she turned to face some unseen enemy and realization struck me. Her features were mine only older and contorted in a deep heated scowl and my eyes were only slightly darker than my blade. Was this my future? Was this what waited for me at the end of my journey away from here?
I took a breath and the image disappeared and I could move but I was now looking at the faces of all the men and women I was trying to escape. All were in pain; most were on their knees or one the floor; some were screaming; others were cursing. My gaze finally settled on the group of Jedi. All of them were standing. Kyp looked more angry than in pain; Orunti had steeled himself and was standing with a blank expression, his hands shaking violently. Skai’s expression, though, had the most affect. She was standing there staring at me with tears in her eyes, with a look of pure betrayal on her face; I had betrayed her.
I released the projection and made a dash for the XJ7. I had to get away. I couldn’t face the people I had just betrayed. I was so determined to escape that I didn’t notice the person standing directly in front of the boarding ladder until I ran into them; the impact was enough to knock me on my butt.
“Didn’t you already try to run?” Jacen asked as he crouched down next to me.
My first instinct was to send a shock of pain through his system but I fought it back. “I have to leave; you didn’t see what I become. I have to get as far away as possible before it happens,” I replied as I stood and stumbled toward the XJ7.
“No, that’s what you become if you leave. If you stay, things will get better,” Corran said as he walked up.
“You don’t know that,” I said then turned back toward the ladder that Tristan was now blocking.
“Maybe we don’t, but wouldn’t staying be worth finding out?” he asked.
“You’re all just saying this to get me to stay,” I protested.
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t telling the truth,” Corran pointed out.
“If I stay you’re all just going to treat me like a little kid.”
“We only want to protect you,” Tristan said.
“And we want to protect you because we care about you,” Jacen pointed out.
“I guess.”
“Do you think we would be here if we didn’t care about you? Plus, we don’t want to lose you again; you should have seen this lot while you were missing,” Kyp said as he gestured around him.
I nodded with a sigh. “Naboo?”
Corran smiled. “Naboo.”
* * *
“What are you doing?” Jacen asked.
“Sh!” I snapped as I continued to edge toward one of the Shaak grazing in the field we were all sitting in.
“Does this qualify as one of the things we’re allowed to save her from?” Jacen asked as he turned to Corran.
“It’d probably be in your best interest not to,” he replied.
“She’s pulling an Anakin,” Jason said suddenly.
“What’d I do?” Anakin asked as he looked up at the sound of his name.
“Not you, your grandfather, before he was Darth Vader. Once he was here and he… he, well, did that,” Jason explained as he pointed over to where I was standing on one of the Shaaks’ backs.
“Woo-hoo!” I yelled in victory then the Shaak started bucking and I started to lose my balance. “Uh-oh…” I muttered then I looked over at the group of Jedi that was my audience. “Help would be appreciated. You forget; TK isn’t my strong point!” I yelled as I used my little TK to root myself to the Shaak’s back.
“Who’s got her?” Corran asked as he turned toward the group.
“I’ll get her this time,” Kyp said as he barely moved his hand and I was lifted off the creature and landed just a few feet in front of them.
“That was awesome! When do I go again?” I asked as I plopped down next to everyone; they sighed. “Oh come on! You guys are such killjoys!”
“Well not all of us enjoy saving your butt every thirty seconds,” Jaina pointed out.
I stuck my tongue out at her.
“Very mature.”
“I never claimed to be,” I countered.
“Geez… Break it up,” Kyp said while looking back and forth between us.